said a new friend to me recently. Again, I’m a WASM woman, so I won’t pretend to understand. But I feel for you bro. And you always have a friend in me…
can this woman do mine while I sit and write this blog?
JUST KIDDING! Mama Wilk’s done MORE than enough for me already, true story! Also, I did a load this morning. Phew!
P.S. Yes, I just compared this blog to “Walden” and myself to one of the great American transcendentalists. And yes, I am expecting a…you guessed it….THUNDERBOLT OF BLASPHEMY!
This is Alan (he is very good looking and gave me permission to use his name, but asked to not have his picture included). He is a new friend who lives with his sister and brother-in-law here in Utah having recently moved from Long Beach, California. I don’t know him very well yet, but I can tell he is a good man who respects women, works hard, and is seeking truth. Alan is currently investigating the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I ain”t gonna hide the fact that I hope he joins, but whatever he decides, I am glad to have a new friend! Oh, and he sent me the following in an email. Totes made this girl’s day!
hey katherine it was really good meeting you yesterday. i didnt have time to read all of your blogs but i did get a chance to read the one about sex and the temple and ill say it did answer alot of my question. i didnt know it was that sacred. ill view more of your blogs when i have more time. you a very talented individual and i hope you succeed in your blogs. hope your day goes well.
Oh, and Alan’s sister is into eyelashes, too. Love this family already 🙂
Thomas is a convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He attended Southern Virginia University (where he did music with my mama!), and after graduating, made the brave decision to serve a full-time LDS mission at the age of 24. When making a quick stop in Utah to stock up on missionary gear, Thomas experienced a BIG surprise. Check it out!
So awesome, huh? Actually, he was one of 15 soon-to-be missionaries who got this star treatment:
For those who may not quite understand, I was exploiting the stereotype that Mormon girls often get married and pregnant very young. Here is another self-satire.
No beatin’ around the bush on that title (figuratively OR literally)! I had my NEW friend Kemp and my OLD friend Carlos help me out. Check it stat (and please excuse my being a little dance happy. I’m not as smooth/subtle as my friends):
And if you think that was entertaining (probably mainly because Katherine was making a fool of herself), it actually wasn’t anything compared to what these guys can do for real. Here’s just a taste of their INSANE TALENT. And yes Mom, the following is improvised.
When it comes to our world and its issues, there is a lot to say!
… And a lot to criticize
There are absolutely times when it’s important to speak plainly and even harshly. To reprove with sharpness (Doctrine and Covenants 121:43) , and to not beat around the bush (From what I understand, my grandfather Ernest Wilkinson often preferred this approach.).
So I occasionally will speak harshly (but still intelligently!) about subjects, but my passion does not overrule my logic (and vice versa).
And there are certain topics that Katherine simply will not explore in a comedic way (humor is great, but out of bounds can be dangerous, obscene, and grossly offensive).
You will never see any joke on my blog about racism, abuse, pornography, or violence.
And it is NOT that I am afraid of alienating readers (although I do seek to maintain them!). It is that those jokes are not a part of my life AT ALL, and therefore most certainly will not be part of my blog.
However, when it comes to less serious (but still important!) issues like modesty, time spent on Facebook, and dating, things that are relevant to many people but are especially present in my psyche as a Mormon living in Provo, I like to (try to) be funny! I often think deeply about the issue (let it cook in the crock-pot of my mind for a while), but usually say very little. It’s that whole “economy of words” things again.
Sure I know how to write 15 page papers, but in this case, I think that often the less said, the better. Brevity IS the soul of wit, ya’ll!As long as what you are saying is funny, uplifting, entertaining, honest, but still speaks an important truth and sparks discussion and thought, I believe that often the point gets across most clearly and perfectly. The idea of “truth in jest” shows up in almost all of my posts, and it is the core of my approach to satire.
(2 Shakespeare references in 1 paragraph-not bad!)
Two of my greatest influences in this respect are Ellen DeGeneres and Brad Paisley. Both are brilliant comedians and satirists (Brad is also extremely good looking and could shred a guitar to pieces), but are NOT preachy or unkind. They respect the intelligence of their audience. And I believe this is what makes them so good. Check out these two examples:
Well done, you two. Well done. Thanks so much for your inspiration.
And now back to the woman of the hour…
My satire may not be perfect, but it is funny, witty, occasionally sexy, intelligent, clean, refreshing, and overall pretty darn awesome, if Ido say so myself.
The other day I ran out of gas and had to walk to a gas station. I took my red gas can, which holds a near permanent residence in the back of my car. Along the way I met 2 nice young men who accompanied me. (one of them talked to me, while one took pictures) Darn, they were cute, I wish it had been one of those days when I hadn’t looked like this, but of course that never stops me from socializing.
Now readers, I know that I pride myself in not censoring ugly pictures of myself. But as far as my face in this last one goes, even I have my standards.
But any potential suitors, rest assured that I can also look like this:
Just found this video from about 3 years ago. Watching it was fun. And funny. And painful (is there ANYONE who likes his/her own speaking voice?) But what’s incredible is how much I see myself and all my core beliefs again. Humor, beauty, kindness, expression, creativity, Christ, understanding. Not bad. Even if it wasn’t one of my better hair days 🙂 Now I wanna go find me an apricot!
“The cicada fest was like the plague in the Old Testament!”
True story. Probz should have actually cleaned myself up a little, huh? Oh well. Ya’ll know I’m beautiful, even if not everyday. But I digress. This kid Oba is the real deal.
And boy can break it DOWN!
This stuff is good enough to be on the radio. Too good. Puts Chris Brown and Jason DeRulo to shame. This song is another literary gem, teachers. Can you believe this kid is giving up music for 2 years to go on an LDS mission? Now THAT’S dedication. You know homeboy will be winning Grammys in no time when he gets back. Oba if you ask really nice, I GUESS I’ll be your date although it’s such a terrible bother to get a pretty dress and have your makeup and hair all done up and stuff….. 🙂
Gender confusion?
And he liked some of my Natasha mash-up ideas. DON’T HATE THAT!
#those drinks are “Arizona” brand, but they’re not tea! Promise!
I have a certain friend. He has 10 fingers and 5 toes. He had a freak-accident (I’m no stranger to those) a few years ago where he had to have them amputated. Cray-cray, right? Anyways, this guy is a good guy. He is really funny and close to the Lord and works hard. Even though he doesn’t live in Provo anymore, I am so grateful for our friendship and just know we will keep in touch for years to come 🙂 I will show you a picture of his foot (but not of his face!)
And guess what? His foot ain’t the most interesting thing about him…not in the least 🙂
When you are so inspired that you have a hard time sleeping, (particularly if you live in the booming metropolis of Provo, which is basically the same thing as New York) it might be time for a sedative.”
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Human/ Mormon/ Woman: KATHERINE 