Tag Archives: pregnancy

Jessica Simpson needs a grammar lesson,


and Professor Wilkinson is up to the task!


 And Jess, notice that I took your animal prints example

so that you felt a bit more on my level.

(although it’s painfully clear who the English teacher is here…)


and now, smiley student, let me show you how it’s really done:

Grammar Recap:

1)  Avoid blatant self-contradictions (unless there is a highly specified purpose)

2)  Avoid using the same word twice within such a short time-span.

3)  Be ever so cautious about your level of commitment/definition when expressing surety/doubt.

4)  Wear a shirt that covers your stomach.

5)  Katherine loves aviator sunglasses…


*Oh, I would like to reiterate that surprisingly I do enjoy Ms. Simpson’s song.  Perhaps even more than this guy’s:

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Weird, huh?

Last thoughts for this post

(and actually the most important one too!):

Screen shot 2013-09-19 at 7.45.19 PM  Screen shot 2013-09-19 at 7.46.27 PM

 Jessica, your (future) children REALLY deserve for you to be married to their father.

Hozabout you get on that one?

Sooner than later, please.

Not meaning to judge or be unkind

Just sayin…

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Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony…

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~LDS Family Proclamation to the World

dear readers, I HIGHLY recommend clicking on the above link and reading this.

It is an incredibly awesome document!


Oh, and this is hardly the first post in which I’ve exposed grammatical errors in ubiquitous pop songs.

Carly Rae Jeppson needed a little help not too long ago.

Who’s next?

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The gospel is GOOD NEWS!


and don’t you dare ever forget that.

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Image  is just a change of location.


Abortion is a loaded topic, and there is of course mountains more to say about it.  But let’s not overlook this simple truth.  Here is the LDS Church’s official stance.

Also, here’s a VERY powerful video.  It’s not graphic/bloody (no aborted fetuses), but again it’s powerful.

And raw.

And hopeful.

Lyrics here.

(TATW read them!)

What you want? Morning sickness or the sickness of mourning

BRILLIANT phrase-twist, Mr. Cannon.  Wow.

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And don’t be emailing me about your special circumstances

and say I’m judgmental.

I know there are those circumstances.

I know that.

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“How in the heck am I supposed to raise seed unto the God of Israel when I can’t even drive my freakin’ car?!”


He’ll help ya out, that’s how.  With the driving AND with the kids.

PS.  Read more about my driving woes here.  

PPS.  I see a connection to Maslowe’s Hierarchy and to Karl Jung here.  Will explore further in another post…

PPPS.  No, this is not a pregnancy announcement.  It’s not even a wedding announcement.  Darnie.

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I was a satirist…


before I even fully knew what that meant!


Alexander Pope and Jonathan Swift would be so proud!

Check out my approach to satire here. 

For those who may not quite understand, I was exploiting the stereotype that Mormon girls often get married and pregnant very young.  Here is another self-satire.

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Doctrine & Covenants is NOT the same thing as D&C

DOCTors will understand why DOCTrine & Covenants is different.

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My favorite shirt….and it’s favorite companion :)



And the companion?


So not to be completely inappropriate, but if you ever see me wearing that shirt, you probably also know what else I’m wearing too 🙂

Borderline of propriety?  IT’S TOO PERFECT NOT TO SHARE!

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I am confident enough to be vulnerable,

Screen shot 2013-08-03 at 1.20.17 PM

but ain’t gonna do any Demi Moore pregnancy poses, know what I mean?

I am looking for the cover-girl of dignified beauty magazine…

~Andy Grammer

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Working Title

I am having title troubles.   Although it’s been in utero for about 25 years, this blog is fairly new in its genesis.  We’re talking 8 days old.  So I didn’t take a ton of time working on the name.  The title as stands is not useless.  Quite the opposite.  It is taken from the Natasha song, “Cheer Me Up.”

Problem is, it seems a bit trite.  Like the title of the blog of some newlyweds who haven’t quite left the honeymoon phase yet.  So part of me wants to change it.  But part of me wants to keep it because of it’s lyrical significance.  And that one small chance that I can meet Natasha some day.  And maybe?  Dare I even think it?  Share a stage with her….

What’s a girl to do?

hair asking

Comment or email with any input.


If happiness can last forever,

I want a part of it.

Even just a little bit.

(even if we’re the only ones dancing!)


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“You could always just replace my birth control pills with tic-tacs.”

Thought up this line a few years ago.   I will use it in one of the following 2 situations:

A)  my husband wants kids before I do….

B)  I  sell it to a screenwriter who writes it into a script where the main character (who may or may not be played by me)’s husband wants kids before she does.

Considering the fact that my clock is ticking, option B is looking like it’s gonna win out.  Hollywood, any takers?

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Mormon, Baptist, Jew, Agnostic, Atheist, Catholic, Muslim, Sihk, Gay, Straight, Black, White, Brown, Purple etc. (not listed in order of importance btw but Mormon IS number 1 on MY list…just sayin”)  This one’s for YOU!

Wanna know something?  Everyone can create!  And I’m not just talking about the sexy dance of procreation 🙂  I’m talking about being an artist.  Making something beautiful.  Something of value.  Something of substance…

We can’t all be this girl:


(Natasha with her guitarist Luca)

Or this man:


(Mark Twain for those who don’t read in this digital age)

Or this guy:


(been hanging out with Mike Tyson lately, Vincent?)

And we DEF can’t all be this woman:


(She’s obviously amazing and is helping the human race not go extinct, but I don’t want to be her anyways…..)


This beautiful German man says it better than I ever could (and that’s saying something!)…..

Read the full address here:  https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/happiness-your-heritage?lang=eng  He’s talking specifically to women but his words are a universal truth, yes they are…

“You may say ‘I am not the creative type.’  If that is how you feel, THINK AGAIN.”

How do YOU create?

*not trying to convert you to the LDS Church (ain’t no bait-and-switch), but if you do I wouldn’t hate it…

#not trying to be preachy, just excited and wanted to share…

Core Belief:  Expression, Kindness, Beauty, Creativity, Understanding, Humor, Christ


*might be my best blog post yet….


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Barney’s Words of Truth


No not that one!



*juxtaposition of what many people consider to be one of the sexiest characters with one of the UNsexiest characters

*is sexy a bad word among Mormon circles? I wouldn’t say it over the pulpit but this blog seems fine 🙂

Core Beliefs:  Humor, Beauty, expression, creativity

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When the economy’s bad……

Imageyou can’t rule anything out…..

*it’s a joke-RELAX!

*what is the Church’s official stance anyways?

*what would our ancestors think if they knew what we could find on the internet?

*I will not be judged by my google searches


Core Beliefs:  Humor, Creativity


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