Tag Archives: pregnancy

Jessica Simpson needs a grammar lesson,

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and Professor Wilkinson is up to the task!

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 And Jess, notice that I took your animal prints example

so that you felt a bit more on my level.

(although it’s painfully clear who the English teacher is here…)

(1:22-1:40):

and now, smiley student, let me show you how it’s really done:

Grammar Recap:

1)  Avoid blatant self-contradictions (unless there is a highly specified purpose)

2)  Avoid using the same word twice within such a short time-span.

3)  Be ever so cautious about your level of commitment/definition when expressing surety/doubt.

4)  Wear a shirt that covers your stomach.

5)  Katherine loves aviator sunglasses…

🙂

*Oh, I would like to reiterate that surprisingly I do enjoy Ms. Simpson’s song.  Perhaps even more than this guy’s:

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Weird, huh?

Last thoughts for this post

(and actually the most important one too!):

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 Jessica, your (future) children REALLY deserve for you to be married to their father.

Hozabout you get on that one?

Sooner than later, please.

Not meaning to judge or be unkind

Just sayin…

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Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony…

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~LDS Family Proclamation to the World

dear readers, I HIGHLY recommend clicking on the above link and reading this.

It is an incredibly awesome document!

🙂

Oh, and this is hardly the first post in which I’ve exposed grammatical errors in ubiquitous pop songs.

Carly Rae Jeppson needed a little help not too long ago.

Who’s next?

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The gospel is GOOD NEWS!

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and don’t you dare ever forget that.

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Birth

Image  is just a change of location.

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Abortion is a loaded topic, and there is of course mountains more to say about it.  But let’s not overlook this simple truth.  Here is the LDS Church’s official stance.

Also, here’s a VERY powerful video.  It’s not graphic/bloody (no aborted fetuses), but again it’s powerful.

And raw.

And hopeful.

Lyrics here.

(TATW read them!)

What you want? Morning sickness or the sickness of mourning

BRILLIANT phrase-twist, Mr. Cannon.  Wow.

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And don’t be emailing me about your special circumstances

and say I’m judgmental.

I know there are those circumstances.

I know that.

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“How in the heck am I supposed to raise seed unto the God of Israel when I can’t even drive my freakin’ car?!”

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He’ll help ya out, that’s how.  With the driving AND with the kids.

PS.  Read more about my driving woes here.  

PPS.  I see a connection to Maslowe’s Hierarchy and to Karl Jung here.  Will explore further in another post…

PPPS.  No, this is not a pregnancy announcement.  It’s not even a wedding announcement.  Darnie.

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I was a satirist…

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before I even fully knew what that meant!

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Alexander Pope and Jonathan Swift would be so proud!

Check out my approach to satire here. 

For those who may not quite understand, I was exploiting the stereotype that Mormon girls often get married and pregnant very young.  Here is another self-satire.

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Doctrine & Covenants is NOT the same thing as D&C

DOCTors will understand why DOCTrine & Covenants is different.

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🙂

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My favorite shirt….and it’s favorite companion :)

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And the companion?

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So not to be completely inappropriate, but if you ever see me wearing that shirt, you probably also know what else I’m wearing too 🙂

Borderline of propriety?  IT’S TOO PERFECT NOT TO SHARE!

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