Tag Archives: metaphor

Like a bridge over troubled water,

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I will ease your mind.

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Not trying to sound conceited…

but who else do you know who can do this when she’s still in her pajamas?

(Actually, I’m not sure that’s something to be proud of.)

Compare to this (0:35-1:10):

this song is weird and kinky and breathy and I don’t like it,

but just wanted to include for the comparison

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But once again, allow me to visually remind you

of the references I made in a brief 2 minutes:

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Image  Image  ImageCONCEIT-ed?

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I think the other apostles are getting jealous…

that this guy gets more blog time than the rest of them.

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And I KNOW Iago isn’t the greatest role model,

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but he did rightfully warn about the green-eyed monster of jealousy: (even if the following monster has blue eyes AND blue skin…)

ImageYOU.  HAVE.  BEEN.  ADMONISHED.
(used the word “warn[ed]” already…and I DO follow the apostle Paul, anyways)

And I just got struck by lightening (which followed the thunderbolt of blasphemy, of course).

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And I’m very, very sad now…

🙂

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I’d rather be HAPPY than CLEAR…

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 (by a TON, by the way)

PS.  As of a few years ago, it is no longer prescription so it’s a lil’ cheaper. SAWEEEEEET!  This song is what Allegra can say to my summer hay-fever.

PPS.  ALLEGRA makes ALLERGIES happy (or unhappy, I guess)!  WOW!  Just noticed that.  COOL!

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The trial and error of marketing your new blog…

I have never taken a marketing/business/graphics/photography class in my life (true story!), but I’m finding out that I know more than I thought.  “You don’t know it all, but you know enough” is an idea that has been used by a prominent Mormon leader to describe sharing the gospel.  However, I have also applied it to this blog.  I am conscious of not wanting to annoy, spam, or resort to publicity stunts, but also am anxious to get my work out there (!) and wish to utilize social media to do so.  And maybe I’ll never earn another cent, but this blog is still valuable, it’s still bringing me great opportunities and friendships, and is still very special.

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I admit, I’ve made a few Facebook blunders with marketing.  Again, I have a good head on my shoulders and haven’t sinned so badly that I would need to go confess to my WordPress Bishop (see what I did there?), but I have had 2-3 people (whom I know and who’s opinion I respect) tell me that I was a little too liberal in posting my blog on people’s walls.  To those people, I’m sorry.  But I gather that you aren’t angry with me, and that you understand.  Also, I thank you for your input.  The Lord chasteneth those whom he loveth (I just compared you to God, so you better keep reading my blog!).

Artists of every medium, level, and experience know the frustration of not having people read/listen to/watch/appreciate their work.  So the fact that my story (or at least parts of it) has been seen and read all over the world is pretty remarkable!  Thanks again, readers.  However, I still know that my blog will never be as valuable to another person as it is to me.  And that’s alright.  But if I can express a commonly felt truth, expose an insecurity that may help someone else find confidence, clarify questions about God and religion, or just make you smile, that makes me happy.

So I have learned a TON already, but am excited to keep on learning more!

Come so far, but got so far to go!

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Goldilocks and the 3 Blogs

Some blogs are TOO personal:

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Some blogs aren’t personal enough:

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But the blog of this girl right here?

Image It’s JUUUUUUUST right!

Check out my friend Goldilocks here:

🙂

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A guest poet!

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The following poem is written by my friend Mackenzie.  She is a good friend who likes to write poetry (obviously!), prepare for  her upcoming LDS mission, and rock out in the car with me to Kelly Clarkson.  This poem is a beautiful expression of her trials, but also her faith.  I publish this with her permission.

Much Longer

I can’t do it any other way unless the Lord is on my side

In this small peep-hole my life seems like a long ride

I need to trust my faith when all else is failing me

Trying to envision just who God wants me to be

If in failing I lose all sense of self, I know God will be my spiritual wealth

I’m so many broken pieces learning to find my way

But with the Lord on my side, I can never go astray

I need to get my license, that broken piece chips my eye

So many unneedful crystal clear tears that I cry

I want to serve the Lord, that broken piece chips my aching heart

With my faith in all sorts of parts

How much longer will my confidence sink?

This life goes by in such a blink

I need to build up a light around me so that darkness cannot succeed

Christ’s light is what I thirst, it’s what I need

Wow!  Nothing I could say would do this poem justice, so I’ll just let it speak for itself.  Love you, Kenz!

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August 11, 2013 · 2:54 am

Give me one reason….. that I shouldn’t blog about the first thing I recorded in a professional studio!

I was just 18 when I recorded this.  It was a pretty cool experience at a time in my life when I needed expression and creativity (kinda like now!).  There is a tension, though, as I wanted to sound stylish and slur my words just a little, but then that is at the sacrifice of enunciation.  The Sophie’s choice of singing, I guess.  Take a listen:

Oh, and here’s the email that my guitar teacher, Frank Keim sent me.  I feel comfortable sharing his contact info because he IS still in business.

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I wouldn’t be the musician that I am today without him.  Truth!

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Sometimes the best part of a song…

is at the end! (start at 3:09)

I’m sure there’s some metaphor to life here.  What do you think?

Love the building harmonies, love the overlapping rounds, love the female AND male voices, here.

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August 8, 2013 · 8:49 pm

In the past year there were times when I was a part-time Mormon

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but now I’m back to full-time.

PS.  Please don’t read this as self-righteousness.  And please also don’t misunderstand my metaphor.  Members of the LDS church are not paid.  Just thought I’d clear that up…

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Which one do I feed, the enemy or the daughter?

The natural [wo]man is an enemy to God, and yet I’m also a daughter of God.

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I decide which part of my identity to feed.

so do you…

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I am not fluent in the language of WordPress…

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but I am learning more everyday!

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What’s in a name?

Katherine slide leaves

Names play a significant role in our lives (especially in THIS girl’s life!)  Furthermore, name changes are an interesting part of our experience.  Let me share for a minute about my own name and it’s journey.

My birth name is Katherine, but when I was very young my family called me Kate.  In 2nd grade, I wanted to go by my original name, and because education often stressed phonetic spelling, it was “Katheren.”  I eventually spelled it the way it was given to me and used this name until the end of high school.  When I first came to BYU, I wanted a new identity.  Not brand spankin’ new, but a way to have somewhat of a fresh start.  I wasn’t a reformed bad girl or anything, but almost anyone can relate to wanting a clean slate when they first leave home.  I told every new person I met that my name was Katie.  Not anything too drastic, but the change was still significant.  But 2 years later, “Katherine” was calling my name again (see what I did there?), and so I used that name and continue to use it to this day.  My name journey was and continues to be very funny at times as some people to this day do not know whether to call me Kate, Katherine, or Katie.  I will respond to all, but 90% of the people in my life call me Katherine, so if in doubt, go with that.

Why does this matter to you?  May I suggest that you ponder your names.  First/last/middle/maiden/nicknames, etc.    What do they mean to you?  To your family?  I have known people who have chosen to take on new names after significant changes, such as religious conversions, therapy, and of course marriage.  Names are a part of our identity, and since we do not choose our own names from birth, there are times when individuals decide to change them on their own.  Deeper parts of the LDS theology reveal the significance of new names for those who desire to become closer to God.  Think about how Saul changed to Paul in the New Testament.  Oh, yah, AND my platonically beloved former counselor went from ______________ to Therapist Zach.  An alias, a pseudonym, but for a good purpose, I’d say.

Last soapbox for the day:  I am open and accepting, but whatever you do, do NOT name your child North West, or something weird like that.

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My (near perfect) approach to satire…

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When it comes to our world and its issues, there is a lot to say!

… And a lot to criticize

There are absolutely times when it’s important to speak plainly and even harshly.  To reprove with sharpness (Doctrine and Covenants 121:43) , and to not beat around the bush (From what I understand, my grandfather Ernest Wilkinson often preferred this approach.).

So I occasionally will speak harshly (but still intelligently!) about subjects, but my passion does not overrule my logic (and vice versa).

Here are 2 of my strongest examples yet:

1)  Some Mansions

2)  Halloween Costume from Hell

And there are certain topics that Katherine simply will not explore in a comedic way (humor is great, but out of bounds can be dangerous, obscene, and grossly offensive).

You will never see any joke on my blog about racism, abuse, pornography, or violence.  

And it is NOT that I am afraid of alienating readers (although I do seek to maintain them!).  It is that those jokes are not a part of my life AT ALL, and therefore most certainly will not be part of my blog.

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However, when it comes to less serious (but still important!) issues like modesty, time spent on Facebook, and dating, things that are relevant to many people but are especially present in my psyche as a Mormon living in Provo, I like to (try to) be  funny!  I often think deeply about the issue (let it cook in the crock-pot of my mind for a while), but usually say very little.  It’s that whole “economy of words” things again.

Sure I know how to write 15 page papers, but in this case, I think that often the less said, the better.  Brevity IS the soul of wit, ya’ll! As long as what you are saying is funny, uplifting, entertaining, honest, but still speaks an important truth and sparks discussion and thought, I believe that often the point gets across most clearly and perfectly.  The idea of “truth in jest” shows up in almost all of my posts, and it is the core of my approach to satire.

(2 Shakespeare references in 1 paragraph-not bad!)

Two of my greatest influences in this respect are Ellen DeGeneres and Brad Paisley.  Both are brilliant comedians and satirists (Brad is also extremely good looking and could shred a guitar to pieces), but are NOT preachy or unkind.  They respect the intelligence of their audience.  And I believe this is what makes them so good.  Check out these two examples:

Well done, you two.  Well done.  Thanks so much for your inspiration.

And now back to the woman of the hour…

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My satire may not be perfect, but it is funny, witty, occasionally sexy, intelligent, clean, refreshing, and overall pretty darn awesome, if I do say so myself.

🙂

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Satire

Sat on a tire

Kat sat on a tire

I’m tired, BYE!

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Not my primary purposes, but I ain’t gonna say “no”!

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To be clear, revenue (in the works) and missionary experiences (CURRently ocCURRing) are not my primary purposes in the conception, genesis, and raising of this blog’s life.  However, as those opportunities come knocking on my door, who am I to turn them away? 🙂

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Lesson Plans are made for teachers, and NOT teachers for Lesson Plans…

And still Dr. Ostenson made me write them anyways.  Sigh

Better over-prepared than under-prepared, I suppose.

Explore the origin of my metaphor here. 

🙂

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My fashion sense has really taken a hit these days…

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And not a good hit.  A bad hit.  (This is Katherine attempting a sports connection.  Really don’t know much about sports, but if I’m gonna get that Webby, I need to appeal to a larger demographic, so I need to diversify my topics.)   ANYWAYS, yes my cute clothes have been kinda neglected lately.  Yesterday, for example, I wore a pink swimsuit cover-up, modified only by the addition of a blue hoodie when I had a man come over at night.  Can’t have anyone lusting over my bare shoulders now!  And 2 days ago I wore yoga pants to a date.  Add to that I spilled sauce onto my shirt.  Also my hair dryer hasn’t been used in about 3 weeks!  Good thing I have church in a few hours so I can clean myself up just a LITTLE (paradox).  And yes, this blog post was just a stealthful way to express that even though I’m not the dress-size I was a year ago, when it comes to the men, this girl’s still got it!

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Satan is on Facebook,

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but so is God.  Who’s friend request will you accept?

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No man can serve two masters. 

Thanks for the help on that one, Andrew.  BYU taught me to quote my sources. 🙂

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“If the Church is true, it will win against any anti-Mormon crap out there,”

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said a good friend once who helped me a lot in my faith journey.  I like that a lot.  I am not suggesting that we go dig through every piece of dirty laundry we can find.  But I’m no longer afraid of the big, tough issues.  Polygamy, Mountain Meadow’s Massacre, blacks and the priesthood, Salamander letters, that kind of thing.  I still don’t have all the answers (but have definitely gained some!), but I no longer feel anxiety.

Read more here: 

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“Katherine, you’re gonna find it.”

When meeting with therapist Zach, I found the words to express that in the past I’d gotten all my meaning and identity from my association with Mormonism.  And with the collapse of that (don’t worry, I have since rebuilt that one), what else was there?  What was the purpose of my life?

He wasn’t necessarily a warm-fuzzy guy.  (he wasn’t a Nazi either), and he DEFINITELY wasn’t preachy (thank goodness!).  But it was one of those rare moments in our therapy sessions where you could tell that he wanted to give me a figurative hug (can’t risk a lawsuit).  But all he said to me, with just a hint of a guidance-counselor-esque tone, was “Katherine, you’re gonna find it.”

I FOUND IT!  But I might lose all my creativity tomorrow, so better get back to writing 🙂

Readers, I don’t have to spell it out for you.  Text-to-self connection.  Go.

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In case you thought I was just trying to be cute…

by occasionally comparing myself to Miss Carrie Bradshaw, let me present proof that I am not the only one who has made the connection:

Oh, except I’m totes about chastity.  Check it stat:

or read it here: 

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Hindsight is 20/20, for us at least.

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We know that the story had a happy ending, but at the time the pioneers didn’t necessarily know the outcome.  They were just people of unbelievable faith who were along for the ride and hoping their car wouldn’t crash.  Good thing I wasn’t driving…

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Not as bad as it sounds…

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I have compared this blog to Christ.  That may sound a bit sacriligious, but just a minute, let me explain before you excommunicate me.  First of all, my discovery of identity (as articulated in my core beliefs) does not replace my faith.  It merely enhances and diversifies my character.  So yes I still believe in the literal Christ.  However, this blog has given me freedom, expression, joy, and immortality. And it helped rescue me from a dark place.  Does that not sound like Christ?  So I think I’m safe from the thunderbolts of blasphemy 🙂

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BAD BANGS! BAD!

I’m sure that Lea Michele’s bangs eat all their vegetables, clean up their toys, and sleep through the night.

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But my bangs aren’t as well-behaved.  Sure they did what they were supposed to when they first came into my life.

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But now they often get out of hand and are not as cute as they used to be.

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And sometimes, I’m left with no choice and simply must put them in time-out.

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And my foster-kids (clip-in bangs) just don’t feel quite right, either.

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Sigh.

I just compared my bangs to children, in case you missed that…

…..

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“I’m a gerbil on a treadmill, and everyone else has crossed the finish line.”

I used this phrase more than once in the not too recent past to express how I felt I was doing in life (“mixed metaphors” are a tool that Shakespeare often used and Katherine occasionally experiments with).  You know, all the things we’re supposed to accomplish?  Career, marriage, family, not crashing your car, stuff like that.  It seemed like so many people around me were doing all those things, and I was just praying that I didn’t forget to pay my utility bill!  But I’ve since re-examined that phrase.  The thing is, gerbils are really cute, I am one of those rare people who enjoy treadmills and even got one for my 15th birthday, and I actually have crossed a finish line or two.

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Plus, isn’t the joy in the journey anyways?

Read here. 

Oh yeah, and I started a blog that has reached across the globe in less than a week.  One is bigger than zero, ya’ll!  🙂

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It’s a beautiful day and not a cloud in sight,

so I guess I’m doing alright!

~Jo Dee Messina

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Nephi and Laman

Text I sent to Maizy 2 few years ago:

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“You’re at Institute, and I’m at home watching [HBO show that shall not be named].  It’s like Nephi and Laman.”

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Thunderbolts of blasphemy…

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“She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys…she calls friends”

I attract men like bees to pollen, like magnets to other magnets, like a moth to the flame.

kath boysme and my marines!katherine pink dance men

mac alan me hahaportland singingme collin hometeacher

uncle dave and uncle tim me funny     wizard of ozScreen shot 2013-08-04 at 5.30.18 AM

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There are 29 males in the above pictures.  And only 1 glorious female…Boys, I ain’t saying it’ll be easy.  You got some tough competition.  But if you wanna go and take a ride with me, I guarantee there’ll never be a dull moment 🙂

PS.  Quite a few of the above men are now married, 1 was my home-teacher, 3 were in my Bishopric, and 2 of them are my uncles.  And I have never lip-kissed any of these guys.  I am exploiting their XY chromosome genetic makeup to make myself look more attractive and desirable.  Hopefully none of the wives find this blog and come at me with an ax.  I swear I’m not “that girl.”

But as for the rest of you, maybe I’ll want to be “with you, with you, with you, with you, with you.” 🙂

Core Beliefs:  Humor, Beauty, Kindness, Expression, Creativity

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Don’t be shy now….

This is Shy Grass:

Shy grass closes as a survival adaption/defense mechanism. As amazing at that is, let’s not follow its example…Don’t close yourself off when you are threatened….

*metaphor I made up as I wrote it-true story!
*Fiji good times
*youtube “shygrass” for more videos…fascinating

#how on Earth did I change glasses so fast?  no idea…

Core Beliefs: Beauty, Expression, Creativity, Humor, Christ

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July 26, 2013 · 5:59 pm

An unexpected metaphor

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Warning: I am about to make a comparison between 2 things that are seemingly very different and potentially the slightest bit controversial. But just know that in John Donne’s famous poem, “Batter my Heart,” he compares spiritual conversion to sexual violence.  Mine is no where near that bad, and John Donne has been quoted in Mormon General Conference!  (So now that I’ve established my ethos a bit, onward I go!)  The following subject matter is not offensive, obscene, or inappropriate I believe, but it does concern an adult theme.  But it’s all good cuz I’m not worried about Miss Rosemary or Mr. William reading this just yet 🙂

SEX AND TEMPLES
Many people wonder why only certain people go inside Mormon temples.  There have been feelings of exclusion, privilege, secrecy, and us. vs them.  I was born and raised in the church and I struggled with it.  All through Young Women’s I heard, “you’re gonna get married in the temple.  you are the princess.  you will be so beautiful.  TEMPLE MARRIAGE RULES!”  I felt alone, and I thought I couldn’t ask questions or voice my feelings of nervousness, not wanting to do the whole temple experience, etc.  I didn’t buy the whole “sacred, not secret” thing.  I felt like it wasn’t fair that I would have to commit to something that I didn’t know beforehand.  I didn’t want to wear garments.  But I thought:  I CAN’T TALK ABOUT THIS BECAUSE EVERYONE LOVES THE TEMPLE AND THE TEMPLE IS SO AWESOME, ETC. AND WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THE TEMPLE SPECIFICS..so I lived in silent fear, shame.
As I got older I began to understand that it was okay to ask questions, be nervous, have doubts, and my anxiety began to lessen.

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2 years ago a Christian friend visited me in Provo.  He asked me questions about the church.  I don’t know if he wanted to join, but he wasn’t antagonistic or trying to prove me wrong or anything.  We walked on temple grounds.  He loved it and took lots of pictures (he was a photographer).  He asked me why only Mormons could go in…..the sometimes dreaded question.  (though again he was earnestly asking; not offended or being antagonistic).  In that moment I had a thought come to my mind that was definitely not my own (at least not completely).  TEMPLES ARE LIKE SEX.  Let’s talk about sex first because that’s the one everyone is interested in.

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   In Christianity, God says sex is only between 2 people who are married.  It is natural.  It is good.  It is beautiful.  But when you take sex and put it all over the internet or the magazines or the songs, when you pervert and abuse it, it is wrong, it is offensive, sinful, shameful….ETC…when a couple is married, they have sex!  It is not a secret, not shameful or sinful.  And yet it’s not really appropriate to discuss the details with others.  Sex is for people who are commited, responsible, and mature enough to handle it.  To the wrong eyes and in the wrong contexts, it is wrong, but within marriage, it is right.
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The temple is like this too!  It is for people who are committed, responsible, and mature enough to handle it.  To the wrong eyes and in the wrong contexts, it is wrong, but within the appropriate boundaries, it is right and awesome and wonderful.  Might be kinda weird the first time or two (like sex), but it grows more meaningful over time.  What goes on is not shameful, but we don’t talk about specifics because it is sacred.

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By the way, it must be clarified that there is NOTHING SEXUAL ABOUT THE TEMPLE EXPERIENCE.#ain’t no kinky ceremonies  #just waiting for a thunderbolt for that blasphemy

Since my first time explaining this to my friend, I have used it in certain conversations with about 15 people-Mormon/not Mormon, endowed/not endowed.  And it has gone over REALLY WELL!  They get it.  And by the way, I feel good about knowing when is an appropriate time and place to share this.  Not something I’m gonna say over the pulpit, know what I mean?

I am a virgin in both respects.  Hopefully when my time comes around, it will be rocking, in both respects.  #toomuchinformation?   #idon’tcare

CLOSING THOUGHTS

1)  I invite all people to learn about the LDS temple, and if they choose, to prepare themselves to receive the blessings associated with it.

2)  Similarly, I strongly encourage all people to practice the principle of chastity in keeping with the laws of the Lord.

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“What I am, and what I would are as secret as maidenhood. 

To your ears, divinity.  To any others, profanation.”

~Viola (from William Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night”)

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PS.  Dear friends/readers, I kindly remind you that if you ever have questions about anything at all, you can always email me (katherineannewilkinson@gmail.com).  I wish to emphasis that I do not believe in bait-and-switching people into any religion or faith (if you think Mormons are cray-cray, it’s okay!), but if you have inquiries, I am a pretty good reliable source I think 🙂

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