Tag Archives: literal

“Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?”

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~John Mayer

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The gospel is GOOD NEWS!

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and don’t you dare ever forget that.

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KATching the bouquet!

Sometimes Katherine

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catches the bouquet!

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And other times Katherine 

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does not.

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figuratively AND literally…

                                                              Lyrics here

(this song is really sad, but I like it…)

READERS!

1)  When have you “caught the bouquet?”

2) When have you NOT “caught the bouquet?”

                        line of propriety

                                                       line of propriety

                                         line of propriety

                                                                                                  line of propriety

line of propriety

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“We aren’t always gonna catch the bouquet,

but maybe we can still enjoy the wedding.”

-Katherine Anne Wilkinson

🙂

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I have responsibilities…

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but only because I choose to have responsibilities.

I believe in accepting legitimate criticism and also in getting out of my comfort zone, but if anyone ever tries to force or pressure me into anything in a manner or form with which I am not comfortable in any way at all…

I’M GONE!

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figuratively AND literally…

 But as is always the case, I am kind and civil about this.  Ain’t no James Dean, “rebel without a cause” thing going on here.  This is NOT me being selfish or evading (legitimate) responsibility in any way at all.

  I desire to work hard and stretch myself to serve others.

Still though.  The number 1 person on my list is ME!

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and for that I will NEVER apologize…

🙂

READERS!

1) What responsibilities do you choose to have?

2) What is your LINE OF PROPRIETY when it comes to responsibility?

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“I don’t answer to ANYBODY.  And it’s a lovely, LOVELY feeling…”

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~John Mayer

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Dewey (eyed) Beauty Gets Lost in the Library…

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I have a confession to make that may cause you to question my ethos as a thinker/writer/scholar:

Back to December all the time…

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(don’t love this song, but am sad I didn’t mention DECEMber in the video AND I love Taylor’s whole look here…)

Anyways, libraries can be amazing, but even the great American transcendentalist Ralph Waldo Emerson knew that they could be problematic:

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“Meek young men grow up in libraries, believing it their duty to accept the views, which Cicero, which Locke, which Bacon, have given, forgetful that Cicero, Locke, and Bacon were only young men in libraries, when they wrote these books.”

          ~The American Scholar (this address is SO powerful.  Read (about) it!

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And to further illustrate (figuratively AND literally!) this idea of library limits,

allow me to borrow some palabras from my dear friend:

They read all the books, but they CAN’T FIND THE ANSWERS!”

~7 time Grammy Winner (and thief of Kat’s heart) John Mayer

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(and more than just part of Katherine’s [K]orazón…)

Whitney me JM concert...

half of my heart

whitney heart half JM concert

so BACK TO BIBLIOTECHAS (after that long but still fascinating tangent)!

Let’s ask ourselves what are the extremes/outliers to all the stuff available to us today..

Where is the wisdom in all this knowledge?

(click here to read even more about an OVERLOAD of information)

Eternal struggle between reading and writing…

(good problem to have…)

READERS!

What things do you like about the library?  What things intimidate you?

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And do you know how to use the DDS?

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perdida in the periodicals….

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AWESOME JOB, KATHERINE!

Now sleepy (?) students (readers),

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RISE AND SHINE!

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because it’s time for a little blog assignment:

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Go count how many religious/pop cultural/music/literary/ biligual references I made in this post

don’t forget the title!

DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION YET?

something strange...

🙂

Go gotta go hang out with my boyfriend Harold now…

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BOOK-ending…

literally

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Even Great Artists

ImageNEED A STYLIST!     Image“This is NOT an outfit (picked out) by committee, people.”

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And now I’m about to say something that

I often wish I could shout fiddle from the rooftops.

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Are you listening?

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Okay, here I go:

 

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“I DON’T ANSWER TO ANYBODY,

AND IT’S A LOVELY, LOVELY FEELING!”

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There are of course limits to this philosophy, because I do represent Christ,

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I believe that women can be sexy,

but also ought to maintain class and (line of) propriety,

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and also I am a role model.

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But still “I do what I want!”

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Katherine, get back to John Mayer…

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Read more here about the concert that LITERALLY(!) changed my life…

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(more to come on Johnny’s brilliant monologue/idea)

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And now Lightn’ing strikes for that thunderbolt of blasphemy

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for comparing myself to one of the greatest guitarists/poets of all time…

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But allow me to quote from him once again:

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“I LOOK GOOD CUZ I FEEL GOOD!”

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🙂

4 John Mayer lyrics/links/quotations in one post.  Excellent job, sweet self…

Oh, yah, not only do KW and JM share fashion blunders, we also share writing blunders.  Check it out here. 

PS.  Even if your outfits are occasionally a little whacky, you can still be as cool as me.

“It’s true.  It’s true.  I choose you! (says Sara Bareilles). 

To have an awesome day!

Now GO!

Go fall in love.

Go change the world.

Go help an old lady move.

Go help her carry her groceries.

Go clean your car, (that’s what I need to do).

I need to go do my hair, and a few other things…

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I.  Choose.  You. 

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We at War.

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We at war with terrorism,

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We at war with racism,

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but most of all, we at war with ourselves.

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A thousand little wars I have to choose between

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Some of the greatest battles will be fought within

the CHAMBERS OF YOUR OWN SOUL.

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I’m in the war of my life.

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JESUS WALKS.

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A phrase I do NOT like:

“My body is a temple, and YOU don’t have a recommend.”

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Another phrase twist with a specific Mormon flare.  But I ain’t diggin’ this one.  It seems too sexual, too arrogant, too exclusionary (particularly in relation to LDS temples) and too literal.  I believe in chastity, but don’t think we need to talk about it in a suggestive way, know what I’m sayin’?  There’s gotta be a way to express our views on modesty/virtue WITHOUT doing that kind of thing.

The English teacher in me has to ask, “Do you agree.  Why or why not?”

PS.  I suppose this post is a bit hypocritical since I DID write one comparing Mormon temples to sex/chastity.  But it’s more classy, I think 🙂

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I don’t need (to be) no doctor

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to have good bedside manner!

Moral of the story:  no matter your profession, vocation, hobby that is feeding your soul, you can (and MUST!) have people skillz, ya’ll!

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PS.  Writing “moral of the story” is one of the WORST things a writer can do.  Almost as bad as having a post-script…

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“You said we’d never make my parents’ mistakes…”

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Nature vs. nurture is a theme as old (and relevant!) as any other in literature/ music/ film, etc.  So when it comes to our own lives and relationships, how much will we incorporate what we’ve seen from example (for good and for bad), and how much will we be pioneers and break new ground?

We said we’d never make our parents’ mistakes…

Lyrics Here: 

Just to clarify, PLEASE KNOW that I am NOT writing this post about my own parents.  I’m writing it because I know that not everyone is so lucky.

And to quote again from Ms. Swift, “I have an excellent father.”  Read about him here.

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I like pretzels AND kisses,

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but some are more appropriate to share than others, know what I mean?

What do kisses mean when given out like pretzels and robbed of sacredness?

PS.  That pretzel is heart-shaped!  So even if you just give someone a pretzel, you still love them.  Gotta run this metaphor dry…

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I ain’t buying that one…

ImageSome of these  Autocorrect fails are funny, some (many unfortunately) are obscene, some don’t make any sense, and some of them most likely did not actually occur.

Readers, I would like to reassure you that everything you read about on this blog is legit.  Not to be arrogant, but I am talented enough (and my life is crazy enough!) to not make anything up;  Stories, experiences, and encounters immortalized on this blog have actually, LITERALLY happened.  I would swear in court.  Derrick Clement’s one and only rule for telling a story at The Porch is that it has to BE REAL!  I’m not quite as liberal as he and actually have more standards than him (story-telling wise and morally), but we certainly have that standard of truth in common.    This blog is real, remember?  And so am I.

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My present to you for making it to the 400th post? RAP VIDEO!

No beatin’ around the bush on that title (figuratively OR literally)!  I had my NEW friend Kemp and my OLD friend Carlos help me out.  Check it stat (and please excuse my being a little dance happy.  I’m not as smooth/subtle as my friends):

And if you think that was entertaining (probably mainly because Katherine was making a fool of herself), it actually wasn’t anything compared to what these guys can do for real.  Here’s just a taste of their INSANE TALENT.  And yes Mom, the following is improvised.

Here’s Carlos’s youtube channel. 

And here’s Kemp’s twitter. 

Oh, and just had to include this one too:

🙂

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myspacebarisbrokenandidon’tknowhowtofixitanyhelp?

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sowheniwasyoungermybrothersamwouldplaythistrickonmefromtimetotimeandsaythatthespacebarwasbroken.

but it’s not really broken….

don’t throw it away, just because it’s broken, cuz anything can mend….

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Sometimes a song is so good live that even a crappy recorded version can (almost) make you tear up….

Love the call-and response with the audience.

NATASHA I WANT TO SING WITH YOU! DEAD SERIOUS!

Could this woman be anymore talented, beautiful and kind?  That is a rhetorical question, and the literal answer is NO!

You cannot teach stage-presence like that.

🙂

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I will NEVER be as cool as Natasha Bedingfield,

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but I can still do this every once and a while:

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I don’t need a microphone to say what I’ve been thinking.

My heart is like a loudspeaker, that’s always on 11.

The stripping going on is NOT literal, people!

🙂

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I’m the CENTER(piece) of attention!

Fuchsia Centerpiece:

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Green Center Piece:

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Yellow Center Piece:

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Black and white Centerpiece:

Alfredo and me

Black and white Centerpiece:

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sorry, Mom…

Pink Centerpiece:

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Red Centerpiece:

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Fuschia (again) Centerpiece:

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Think I should add this skill to my resume?  🙂

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Jennifer Lawrence got BURNED!

Look at my title!  Worse than the National Enquirer, I’d say.

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(Cannot WAIT to see this:)

Oh, and know who else is on fire?

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Not literally though, please 🙂  Just wanted to clear that up…

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Blue-collar/white-collar

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I can do it all…

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I am not a literal prophet

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but I can still be a vessel of truth and point others toward it.  So can you.

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Post-it Notes….

I love post-it notes (also known colloquially as stickies)!

1)  Literal:

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They are good for leaving notes on people’s cars or writing to your visiting-teachees.

2)  Figurative:

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You better believe this blog would not/could not exist without my beloved post-its/stickies.

But whatever  you do, DO NOT break up with me on one!

(And whatever you do, DO NOT judge me for loving/posting these videos.)

 If you do, I will have this reaction to my friends.

Then will have a melt down. 

🙂

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Take it from someone who knows, you absolutely do NOT want that Matthew!

I wanna feel a car crash….

There are other ways to get that “high on life” kinda feelings other than vehicular mistakes.  Just sayin’

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There is LITtER ALl over the English language because of the abuse of the word LITERAL.

See what I did there?

Got more to come, too!

But I try not to be one of those rude, snotty English girls (or boys?) who correct people’s grammar.  No one likes those people.  And no one likes to be made to feel stupid.

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Satan is on Facebook,

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but so is God.  Who’s friend request will you accept?

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No man can serve two masters. 

Thanks for the help on that one, Andrew.  BYU taught me to quote my sources. 🙂

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Make new friends, but keep the old…

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One is sexy dark chocolate, and the other flaxen gold.

See what I did there?

Wrote the line in my head, THEN took the picture (chicken/egg dilemma)

I am cuter than this.  I SWEAR (not literally).  But then again, you already know that 🙂

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I TOTALLY feel ya, Macklemore….

“Looking for a better way to get up out of bed
Instead of getting on the Internet and checking a new hit”

“little bit of humble, little bit of cautious”

#read lyrics here: 

#ambivalent feelings toward fame…..

#this song is about as near to perfection as one can get…

#still wouldn’t hate a Webby 🙂

#just barely over 4,000 hits…in 20 countries…in 11 days-LITERALLY!

#pride is the downfall of civilizations

# I STILL DO OTHER STUFF, PEOPLE!  sometimes…

#still no money, but have made strides in that direction 🙂

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“I trust your judgment”

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is one of the greatest compliments I’ve ever received.  And within the past few days, I’ve heard it THRICE!  As a friend, woman, writer, Christian, Latter-day Saint, and all the other things I am, I will do my very best to live up to that trust.  And though your literal life is not in my hands (not in the medical field like Sam, Maizy, and Drew), I still consider it a very sacred responsibility.  So thanks…

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“Katherine, you’re gonna find it.”

When meeting with therapist Zach, I found the words to express that in the past I’d gotten all my meaning and identity from my association with Mormonism.  And with the collapse of that (don’t worry, I have since rebuilt that one), what else was there?  What was the purpose of my life?

He wasn’t necessarily a warm-fuzzy guy.  (he wasn’t a Nazi either), and he DEFINITELY wasn’t preachy (thank goodness!).  But it was one of those rare moments in our therapy sessions where you could tell that he wanted to give me a figurative hug (can’t risk a lawsuit).  But all he said to me, with just a hint of a guidance-counselor-esque tone, was “Katherine, you’re gonna find it.”

I FOUND IT!  But I might lose all my creativity tomorrow, so better get back to writing 🙂

Readers, I don’t have to spell it out for you.  Text-to-self connection.  Go.

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My (literal) dirty laundry is piling up…

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BUT I JUST CAN’T STOP!  Faith has a short-shelf life, but so does inspiration.  It’s not a manic energy though, it’s just excitement and clarity.  Must only stop writing for the bare necessities (showers are up for debate).  And this kind of writer’s high is rare indeed.  Better take it and run with it.  Who knows how long I can go before I burn out?  Renae, you DO know he mentions Peachtree, right? 🙂

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When it comes to God and my religious beliefs, I’m not gonna shove it down your throat, but I’m not gonna walk on eggshells, either.

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Figuratively OR literally.  A comfortable middle-ground (remember that phrase, it’s a good one).

I’m not gonna walk on eggshells,

but I’m not gonna shove it down your throat.

       OR

I’m not gonna shove it down your throat,

but I’m not gonna walk on eggshells

syntax matters…

And I know that Kanye West is not the best person on the planet, but don’t overlook his stellar talent with words and what he has to say on this subject:

“I ain’t here to convert atheists to believers, I’m just trying to say the way school need teachers, the way that Kathy Lee needs Regis, that’s the way I need Jesus.”

Yes, I, a total and complete WASP, just quoted some Kanye.  What can I say?

Oh, plus he and I have the same initials.  🙂

And to bookend with a key phrase in my title, allow me to borrow a phrase from Natasha Bedingfield (who else?):

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Won’t walk on eggshells so you don’t hear the “crazy(?) things I’m saying…

~Stumble

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Readers:

How do YOU talk about your faith/conviction/opinions/religion in a way that is “bold, but not overbear[ing]”?

~Alma 38:12

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Not as bad as it sounds…

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I have compared this blog to Christ.  That may sound a bit sacriligious, but just a minute, let me explain before you excommunicate me.  First of all, my discovery of identity (as articulated in my core beliefs) does not replace my faith.  It merely enhances and diversifies my character.  So yes I still believe in the literal Christ.  However, this blog has given me freedom, expression, joy, and immortality. And it helped rescue me from a dark place.  Does that not sound like Christ?  So I think I’m safe from the thunderbolts of blasphemy 🙂

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I’m a WASP

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but I won’t sting.

PS.  I suppose I’m actually a WASM.  Can you get my joke?

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Reluctant Optimists

                                                          Neil

“I never personally considered myself an optimist.  And I have dark days…but it’s just about reminding yourself that there are so many tiny little awesome things in life.”   –Neil Pasricha 

schmandy

“I’m not intentionally trying to be positive.  I’m just trying to be real.” –Andy Grammer

gordon

“I am not suggesting that you put on rose colored glasses to try and make the world look better.  I plea that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight.”     -President Gordon B. Hinckley

Read the whole speech here.

I love all these quotes.  Being optimistic doesn’t mean we never experience pain.  It doesn’t mean we pretend those things aren’t real.  It means that maybe we can choose to be happy despite the pain, and that maybe there still are good things to come.  Now just one final question…can I still wear these?

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I’m glad you like my blog, but I DON’T want you glued to your seats…

Figuratively or literally.

I’ve had people email/FB/text me saying how much they appreciate my blog.  And I appreciate that YOU appreciate it.  It feels good to have readers, especially if I’m gonna get that Webby, BUUUUUT, remember that your story is more important than mine.  Read my blog when you’re on your computer or Iphone or whatever, but don’t forget to LIVE YOUR LIFE!

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“I’m a gerbil on a treadmill, and everyone else has crossed the finish line.”

I used this phrase more than once in the not too recent past to express how I felt I was doing in life (“mixed metaphors” are a tool that Shakespeare often used and Katherine occasionally experiments with).  You know, all the things we’re supposed to accomplish?  Career, marriage, family, not crashing your car, stuff like that.  It seemed like so many people around me were doing all those things, and I was just praying that I didn’t forget to pay my utility bill!  But I’ve since re-examined that phrase.  The thing is, gerbils are really cute, I am one of those rare people who enjoy treadmills and even got one for my 15th birthday, and I actually have crossed a finish line or two.

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Plus, isn’t the joy in the journey anyways?

Read here. 

Oh yeah, and I started a blog that has reached across the globe in less than a week.  One is bigger than zero, ya’ll!  🙂

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It’s a beautiful day and not a cloud in sight,

so I guess I’m doing alright!

~Jo Dee Messina

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I am the Poster Child for Therapy…

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Nothin’ wrong with that 🙂

#wouldn’t hate being a model, so put me on a literal poster 🙂

That girl’s like something off a poster…

(Katherine likes a LOT of music, but this one is way up there on my list…)

#my hair is beautiful and shiny and straight, just the way I like it…

#never had braces-true story! dentists I wanna be in your brochures, ok?

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Especially not literally….

If 2 people are getting to know/courting/dating, whatever you wanna call it, that’s awesome.  But once the kiss comes, whole new game plan.  I mean, I don’t need to have a ring or anything.  But here’s what:

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YOU SHOULDN’T BE KISSING TWO PEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME!

not literally kiss~

Especially not literally.

“What do kisses mean when robbed of their sacredness?”

LDS President Spencer W. Kimball

Oh, and the following video is for a certain someone who just may have inspired this post.  I am NOT angry, I am NOT vindicative, but I AM super good with the wordplay and just had to do an anonymous shout-out.  I don’t rat anyone out, but friend just COUNT (literally!) how many references I make:

How many did you find (it’s over 10…)?  Oh, the travesty…

“You know I ain’t gonna dis you on the Internet…”

~Beyonce

🙂

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“Everybody loses, we all got bruises”

“It’s good to know you got a friend, you’re not alone in how you been. Everybody loses.  We all got bruises.”

*trudat!

*some literal, some not…

bruises

(I got this the first and only time I went skiing)

*looks like it was filmed in Utah but actually Colorado

*I am doing my own version of this song with a guy friend in a couple weeks…stoked!

*this song reminds me of Heather and also a couple other cool people

Core Beliefs:  kindness, humor, beauty, expression, understanding, Christ

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