Tag Archives: (im)modesty

James Joyce and Jason Mraz went to Mormon Primary?!

Nopers.  But they do relate.   Let Ms. Wilkinson explain:

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STREAM.  OF.  CONSCIOUSNESS.

what's phrase?

this video might clear things up a lil’

still don't get it!

In layman’s terms, stream of consciousness refers to a thought process of flowing psychological associations and often incorporates different senses and stimuli other than simply verbal, such as colors (yellow, anyone?).

love this pic!

Stream of consciousness has been described as a loose interior monologue of the writer or narrator’s thoughts.

  thought bubble!

Cool!brain!!!

The Modernist writer James Joyce is a well-known name associated with it.  Singer-songwriter Jason Mraz is also a champion of this literary technique and even makes specific mention of it in his oh so awesome song “Wordplay” :

Jason Mraz is a HUGE influence on me, btw.

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And James Joyce?  Meh…

ImageOh, and Jimmy not meaning to be rude, but lemme show you someone who can REALLY play that 6 stringed instrument that you hold with such seeming lack of confidence:

crossfire guitar!

(I was wearing a flesh colored shirt under that dress by the way.)

Not really.

Hope my readers enjoyed that brief thrill of my smooth and silky shoulders.

Glad I could spice up your day a little bit.

Thunderbolt of blasphemy.

(time to impress everyone with your mad bookending skillz)

Anyways, girl didn’tcha learn to dress more modestly when you were just a wee lass?

primary

Like in Primary?

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BYE!

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Lena Dunham and her friends would do well to stop being such GIRLS (and be ladies instead!)

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       The HBO series “Girls” has done remarkably well in it’s short time of syndication.  Creator/producer/director/star Lena Dunham has gained critical acclaim for her series, which purports to depict a realistic look into the gritty lives of 4 young women living in a less than perfect urban New York setting.

        I personally am all about the truth and very much appreciate the idea of realism.  However, this show REALLY rubs me the wrong way.  No matter what anyone tells you, the show is filthy and is all about sex.  Watch the following video for me to expound upon these ideas.  And also let me tell you some about a girl who is as real as real can be (thanks Garth Brooks!), but is still very much a lady!  As is always the case, the video is safe for all eyes and ears!

friends, I really do usually try to keep it to 2 minutes,

but I just couldn’t help it!

*I meant to say you will gain more than you miss by NOT watching that show…

Recap Schmecap:

1)  I believe in free speech.

2)  I have watched a few episodes of “Girls” (but I swear on my favorite lip gloss that I will never watch another one).

3)  Sin is Sin

4)  Wickedness NEVER was Happiness (Alma 41:10)

5)  Don’t disregard a truth/ claim I make just cuz it’s churchy and you might not be into that kind of thing…

5)  I don’t hate anyone (except for Satan)

6)  I think that show has some good thematic substance, but the junk outweighs it BIG TIME.

7) Katherine doesn’t always look show-stoppin hot, but still keeps her clothes on…

8)  Engaging in the sorts of behaviors that show portrays will NOT solve your problems.  It will multiply them!

9)  I never intend to be preachy or unkind or judgmental, but I ain’t afraid to have a strong opinion (duh!)

10)  The devil twists truth for his own purposes (William Shakespeare, “The Merchant of Venice”)

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YOU CAN BE CONFUSED ABOUT LIFE

WITHOUT HAVING RANDOM HOOK-UPS!

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HBO?  I think I’ll stick with H2O….

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🙂

Pass this message/post along if ya wanna amigos.

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Jessica Simpson needs a grammar lesson,

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and Professor Wilkinson is up to the task!

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 And Jess, notice that I took your animal prints example

so that you felt a bit more on my level.

(although it’s painfully clear who the English teacher is here…)

(1:22-1:40):

and now, smiley student, let me show you how it’s really done:

Grammar Recap:

1)  Avoid blatant self-contradictions (unless there is a highly specified purpose)

2)  Avoid using the same word twice within such a short time-span.

3)  Be ever so cautious about your level of commitment/definition when expressing surety/doubt.

4)  Wear a shirt that covers your stomach.

5)  Katherine loves aviator sunglasses…

🙂

*Oh, I would like to reiterate that surprisingly I do enjoy Ms. Simpson’s song.  Perhaps even more than this guy’s:

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Weird, huh?

Last thoughts for this post

(and actually the most important one too!):

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 Jessica, your (future) children REALLY deserve for you to be married to their father.

Hozabout you get on that one?

Sooner than later, please.

Not meaning to judge or be unkind

Just sayin…

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Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony…

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~LDS Family Proclamation to the World

dear readers, I HIGHLY recommend clicking on the above link and reading this.

It is an incredibly awesome document!

🙂

Oh, and this is hardly the first post in which I’ve exposed grammatical errors in ubiquitous pop songs.

Carly Rae Jeppson needed a little help not too long ago.

Who’s next?

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Dear Ms. Cyrus,

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The reason your “Wrecking Ball” video has 100 million+ views on YouTube (and in such a short time, too!) is not because of your emotional vulnerability or expression of utter heartbreak, as you have recently indicated.  I presume that you already know this on some level or another, but Miley the real reason people are watching your video is because you are naked on a ball and are sexually licking a sledgehammer.  Girl, come on now.  You can do better than that.

Love, Ms. Katherine

*Readers– you better believe I have lots more to say concerning this young woman.

Stay.  Tuned.

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Naked

In the following video, I discuss the problematic word “naked” pertaining to a few of its common connotations (although I emphasize the idea of emotional nudity and only briefly allude to the reference of literal nudity).  I also quench my thirst for knowledge.  Literally!  As is true for pretty much everything I publish, the video is safe for all eyes and ears!

Readerz, what do YOU think of the word “naked” ?

(Be ye clean that bear the vessels of the Lord D&C 133:55)

Imagemy naked soul exposed

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I’m cold and I’m ashamed lying naked on the floor

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I’ll soon be naked lying on the floor, lying on the floor, I’ve come undone…

Sure hope the boys of Weezer and Ms. Imbruglia are not on the same floor.

Or how about they don’tdestroy [that] sweater” and instead lend it to a freezing, distraught woman.

Sorry if this is inappropriate.

Thunderbolt of blasphemy.

(time to wrap it up, Kate…)

Concluding Thoughts:

“Naked” is a very sensitive word.  And one that I hardly use at all because I try to avoid sex appeal in my writing.  And in my living.  Don’t want it.  Don’t need it.

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Dewey (eyed) Beauty Gets Lost in the Library…

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I have a confession to make that may cause you to question my ethos as a thinker/writer/scholar:

Back to December all the time…

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(don’t love this song, but am sad I didn’t mention DECEMber in the video AND I love Taylor’s whole look here…)

Anyways, libraries can be amazing, but even the great American transcendentalist Ralph Waldo Emerson knew that they could be problematic:

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“Meek young men grow up in libraries, believing it their duty to accept the views, which Cicero, which Locke, which Bacon, have given, forgetful that Cicero, Locke, and Bacon were only young men in libraries, when they wrote these books.”

          ~The American Scholar (this address is SO powerful.  Read (about) it!

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And to further illustrate (figuratively AND literally!) this idea of library limits,

allow me to borrow some palabras from my dear friend:

They read all the books, but they CAN’T FIND THE ANSWERS!”

~7 time Grammy Winner (and thief of Kat’s heart) John Mayer

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(and more than just part of Katherine’s [K]orazón…)

Whitney me JM concert...

half of my heart

whitney heart half JM concert

so BACK TO BIBLIOTECHAS (after that long but still fascinating tangent)!

Let’s ask ourselves what are the extremes/outliers to all the stuff available to us today..

Where is the wisdom in all this knowledge?

(click here to read even more about an OVERLOAD of information)

Eternal struggle between reading and writing…

(good problem to have…)

READERS!

What things do you like about the library?  What things intimidate you?

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And do you know how to use the DDS?

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perdida in the periodicals….

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AWESOME JOB, KATHERINE!

Now sleepy (?) students (readers),

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RISE AND SHINE!

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because it’s time for a little blog assignment:

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Go count how many religious/pop cultural/music/literary/ biligual references I made in this post

don’t forget the title!

DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION YET?

something strange...

🙂

Go gotta go hang out with my boyfriend Harold now…

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BOOK-ending…

literally

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Young Love? That’s LUDACRIS!

Watch how I teach some beautiful gospel principles from a famous brand of infant comida:

Gentle Rebuke:

Costume-change!

Here are a few links to further explore ideas that I mentioned:

1)  Romeo and Juliet is hardly a good example of a healthy relationship.

2)  Modest is the hottest (this is a phrase I don’t hate OR love…will further explore later)

3)  I am 16 going on 17 (correct dating age)

4)  “Ludacris” is a real word, FYI!

5)  MOVE ON FROM MISTAKES OF YOUR PAST!

And I don’t think the following video is completely necessary, but many of the best things in life are not.  So check it stat!

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All systems ago!

🙂

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Last video post for a while…

And I know that Katniss doesn’t like all her treatments here,

but Katherine would LOVE it!

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and I also know that it is “OF Mice and Men.”

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Please don’t make this a case of:  “incorrect titular preposition killed the internet star…”

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🙂

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Would you rather your kids hear about sex from YOU (presumably a responsible adult), or from some punk scoundrels in a locker room that smells like spoiled cottage cheese?!

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(trick question, kinda…)

Seriously though.  Yah, it can be totez awkward.  But avoiding it is worse.    And let me tell you, there is NO LIMIT to the dirty little secrets/ videos/ “tips” these days with the technology that is rampantly available.  And without your help, your kids will find them, and maybe even use them in a way that can and will hurt themselves, and others, not to mention breaking your heart in the process.  So it’s time for you (and all of us) to Be a (Wo)Man!  And talk about S-E-X.

Read text here:

“Mothers, teach your daughters the importance of the temple…

This means talking to [them] about sexual matters.”

And, yes the talk is for women.  Yes it’s from a man.  But if you are thinking there’s some misogynistic thing going here, you are dead wrong.

These principles are gender neutral.

Maybe you are too

Also, I bolded the part about sex.  That was a little weird.

(call to action, Katherine.  Kaction!)

So hop to it!

Off this computer right now.

Go have the sexy talk (if your kids are old enough, of course).

Say a little prayer first to help you not be nervous or weirded out

and also to say the right thing(s)

And wear something modest please 🙂

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PS.  I still don’t love the memories of the birds and the bees talk with my parents. 

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T-Swizzle’s SNL alter-ego doesn’t either

(it’s clean enough for Taylor to do it, for Katherine to include it on this blog, and also to appear on the same post as Elder Ballard in case you are wondering..):

(sorry the quality is not that great)

PPS.  I am NOT anxiously awaiting that talk with my own children (or nieces/nephews/young women).  But not totally dreading it anymore either….

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Protecting the image of the LDS Church…

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is one of the things I take into consideration when writing this blessed blog.  It is certainly not the only thing (duh!), and it’s also not necessarily the most important thing either.  But it still clearly holds clout in the court of Kat’s mind.  It is a priority.  A major one, too.  And it’s not that I’m afraid of being called in to my Stake President for chastisement when I occasionally employ a pseudo-swear or playfully tease my viewers with the exposure of a juicy shoulder.  Not even close (I do not fear excommunication or any other lesser form of Church discipline).  It’s just that I have many different identities.  One of them is Mormon.  One of them is disciple of Jesus Christ.  Those things are not necessarily exactly the same, but there is definite overlap, huh? 🙂  And those particular identities strongly influence (but do not completely dictate) my choices.  And my outfits.   And my words.  And my puns.  And my music.  And my song lyrics.  And my pictures.  And my jokes.  And my videos.  And my topic/subject matters.  And my posts.  And my entire blog!  And although the Church is merely a vehicle through which to fully live/experience the gospel, it is a vehicle we must help keep clean.

(check out that last General Conference link/ talk:  it’s BOMB! and it is heavily influenced (or even appropriately plagiarized) by the Great Mormon thinker Eugene England.  Also, after my vehicle metaphor, I realized I need to vacuum my car this week…)

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“Maybe once a year, I think I’ll clean my car.”

~Gavin Degraw (Listen to this song, too.  SO GOOD!)

So back to the main point of this post.  Just remember this:

Katherine Cares about the Church.

And although I am still pretty new to this whole blogging thing, I am conscious of some of the repercussions I may cause (and am causing!), in whatever small/medium/big (or completely microscopic) way .   Mormonism is my mother tongue, my homeland, and, although I love to travel, when it comes to my faith, I ain’t never leavin!

So hopefully the Church’s image isn’t hurt when I post pictures like this:

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And I think now would be an excellent time to remind you that Mormons no longer practice polygamy (if they do, it’s some off-shoot brand that is not recognized by the Brethren), and also that I wrote a smashing article about a girl who was born into a polygamous family, then later joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Check out the published piece of pie!  Oh, and just so you know, Vilate’s story has gotten even wilder.  Like, out of this world crazy.  In a good way, though.  Stay.  Tuned.

Gotta take Taylor Swift’s example and go burn all my bikini pix now.

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And for my beloved readers, how clean do YOU keep the image of your church (or family name/affiliation, etc.)  How clean do you keep your literal car?  And which is more important (trick question…)?

Watch this video to find out the ONLY church ttopic

I would ever publicly agitate against:

🙂

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(Some) Lessons from Reese

Even classy women,

Imagecan make BIG mistakes.

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and people who make mistakes

can be redeemed.

ImageAnd even good, strong, beautiful women

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don’t always look show-stopping hot in every picture.

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Sound good?

Screen shot 2013-08-19 at 1.14.43 PMGlad we could have that little talk.

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That’s Who I Am.

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Sometimes, I’m clueless and I’m clumsy.  But I got friends who love me. 

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How do I make this post less cheesy

(momentary internal brainstorm…)

How bout an ugly Kath pic?

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Works like a charm 🙂

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Lil Wayne’s Got Nothin’ on Me!

Lil Wayne wanted to know if this girl was down for a sing-off.

Know what she said?

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“Honestly, I’m down like the economy!”

Compare this (start at 2:24-3:00):

Lyrics here: 

To this (start at 1:02-1:43):

(I changed the gender pronouns.  I do that kind of thing a lot.)

Readers, what do you think?

PS.  Wayne, I love and respect you no matter what (not really, but just didn’t want to come off as judgmental and also wanted to soften this next part), BUT your body is a temple…why would you want to put graffiti on it?  Join the LDS Church and I’ll help you pay to get rid of those tats (but readers FYI you don’t have to do that if you want to become a Mormon-just thought I’d clear that up)…

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Newsfeed Priorities…

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Brush ’em, brush ’em, brush ’em!

Looking cute while brushing your teeth

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is not as easy as it looks.

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But it’s still fun to try!

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And Annie outdoes me once again!

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🙂

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Sometimes your sister takes a picture and sends you an email when your dress is too short

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Nephi and Laman, what did I tell ya?

PS.  The David Beckham game was AWESOME!

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“Smile”

“It increases your face value.”

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Thanks to my friend L for reminding me of this, Dolly Parton for making it up, and everyone else for not judging my bare shoulders.

🙂

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She’s Got a Way

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She’s got a light around her

and everywhere she goes a million dreams of love surround her.

Yes, have seen the Billy Joel musical “Movin’ Out.”  It was good until the kinky dancing started (during this song if I remember correctly), and we all felt REALLY uncomfortable.  I’m all for the first amendment and the freedom of speech AND the freedom of dance, but keep your moves clean, ya’ll!

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I will NEVER be as cool as Natasha Bedingfield,

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but I can still do this every once and a while:

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Image   Image

I don’t need a microphone to say what I’ve been thinking.

My heart is like a loudspeaker, that’s always on 11.

The stripping going on is NOT literal, people!

🙂

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Doctrine & Covenants is NOT the same thing as D&C

DOCTors will understand why DOCTrine & Covenants is different.

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🙂

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I’m the CENTER(piece) of attention!

Fuchsia Centerpiece:

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Green Center Piece:

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Yellow Center Piece:

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Black and white Centerpiece:

Alfredo and me

Black and white Centerpiece:

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sorry, Mom…

Pink Centerpiece:

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Red Centerpiece:

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Fuschia (again) Centerpiece:

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Think I should add this skill to my resume?  🙂

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Make Friends With What You Are

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John, I don’t use a pick either! Never did like them.  Travis pick is where it’s at!

Even the greatest of the greats make mistakes…

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I probably will never become a famous singer/writer/comedian….

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(that’s not really my goal, anyways), but if I ever do achieve any level of fame, it won’t be because I’m showing lots of skin, know what I mean?  No judgment intended for other artists, but this girl is talented/classy enough to keep her clothes on and still connect with people.  And that’s just how it is.

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The glorious fusion of skinny-dipping and complete privacy/chastity….

NOTHIN’ BETTER THAN THAT!

And no, no picture this time.  Temple recommend/employer-friendly/grandmothers reading, that kind of thing.  Plus I don’t have any and do NOT want to google that, know what I mean?

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My (near perfect) approach to satire…

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When it comes to our world and its issues, there is a lot to say!

… And a lot to criticize

There are absolutely times when it’s important to speak plainly and even harshly.  To reprove with sharpness (Doctrine and Covenants 121:43) , and to not beat around the bush (From what I understand, my grandfather Ernest Wilkinson often preferred this approach.).

So I occasionally will speak harshly (but still intelligently!) about subjects, but my passion does not overrule my logic (and vice versa).

Here are 2 of my strongest examples yet:

1)  Some Mansions

2)  Halloween Costume from Hell

And there are certain topics that Katherine simply will not explore in a comedic way (humor is great, but out of bounds can be dangerous, obscene, and grossly offensive).

You will never see any joke on my blog about racism, abuse, pornography, or violence.  

And it is NOT that I am afraid of alienating readers (although I do seek to maintain them!).  It is that those jokes are not a part of my life AT ALL, and therefore most certainly will not be part of my blog.

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However, when it comes to less serious (but still important!) issues like modesty, time spent on Facebook, and dating, things that are relevant to many people but are especially present in my psyche as a Mormon living in Provo, I like to (try to) be  funny!  I often think deeply about the issue (let it cook in the crock-pot of my mind for a while), but usually say very little.  It’s that whole “economy of words” things again.

Sure I know how to write 15 page papers, but in this case, I think that often the less said, the better.  Brevity IS the soul of wit, ya’ll! As long as what you are saying is funny, uplifting, entertaining, honest, but still speaks an important truth and sparks discussion and thought, I believe that often the point gets across most clearly and perfectly.  The idea of “truth in jest” shows up in almost all of my posts, and it is the core of my approach to satire.

(2 Shakespeare references in 1 paragraph-not bad!)

Two of my greatest influences in this respect are Ellen DeGeneres and Brad Paisley.  Both are brilliant comedians and satirists (Brad is also extremely good looking and could shred a guitar to pieces), but are NOT preachy or unkind.  They respect the intelligence of their audience.  And I believe this is what makes them so good.  Check out these two examples:

Well done, you two.  Well done.  Thanks so much for your inspiration.

And now back to the woman of the hour…

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My satire may not be perfect, but it is funny, witty, occasionally sexy, intelligent, clean, refreshing, and overall pretty darn awesome, if I do say so myself.

🙂

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Satire

Sat on a tire

Kat sat on a tire

I’m tired, BYE!

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It’s hard to make convincing running poses

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particularly when you’re clearly inside,

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are wearing your medal and have already crossed the finish line,

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or are standing in a cute pose with your friends. 

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It’s also hard to fake eating when your food is all gone. 

 

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My fashion sense has really taken a hit these days…

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And not a good hit.  A bad hit.  (This is Katherine attempting a sports connection.  Really don’t know much about sports, but if I’m gonna get that Webby, I need to appeal to a larger demographic, so I need to diversify my topics.)   ANYWAYS, yes my cute clothes have been kinda neglected lately.  Yesterday, for example, I wore a pink swimsuit cover-up, modified only by the addition of a blue hoodie when I had a man come over at night.  Can’t have anyone lusting over my bare shoulders now!  And 2 days ago I wore yoga pants to a date.  Add to that I spilled sauce onto my shirt.  Also my hair dryer hasn’t been used in about 3 weeks!  Good thing I have church in a few hours so I can clean myself up just a LITTLE (paradox).  And yes, this blog post was just a stealthful way to express that even though I’m not the dress-size I was a year ago, when it comes to the men, this girl’s still got it!

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Romantic Dancing Dip

Myth:

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Experience:

Image  Image

🙂

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Oh, and Miss Bradshaw he may be good at dipping you, but he AIN’T good at dumping you.

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Something Special

This blog is something special to me, yes it is.

“More than I hoped for, more than I dreamed of”

(love it even though it ends with prepositions)

Colbie girl, you are beautiful, talented, seem very kind, and are not sleezy or a sell-out.  I wanna do music with ya, ok?  Dead serious 🙂

Boys, you better be awesome for me to hang out with instead of deepening my relationship with this blog.  Just sayin’

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I can make the whole windy look thing sexy AND modest..

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Not to be self-righteous or anything, but take THAT, Marilyn Monroe 🙂

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Controversy can overshadow talent and achievement….

There are SOOOO many examples of this, but here are just a few:

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1)  Kanye West- (um, Taylor Swift incident, anyone?)

2)  Eminem (If CNN has a top 10, that’s pretty bad Marshall)

3)  John Mayer (You know I love you Johnny, but don’t be spilling your secrets about women! Plus, chastity is where it’s at, anyways.)

And countless, countless others.  These people are often UNBELIEVABLY GIFTED, but when they get brought up in conversation, unfortunately that all often just gets forgotten because of mistakes they’ve made.

Just one more reason to keep my clothes modest.  That and I haven’t hit the gym in a while.

PS.  I do believe in repentance and redemption.  I do.

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I am confident enough to be vulnerable,

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but ain’t gonna do any Demi Moore pregnancy poses, know what I mean?

I am looking for the cover-girl of dignified beauty magazine…

~Andy Grammer

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When attempting to look sexy and tropical…

sometimes you kinda, sorta get it right,

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but other times you just look like a fool.

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🙂

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Paparazzi won’t have nothin’ on me!

The paparazzi can be cruel.

They have the ability to catch celebs at their worst and share it with the world.

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But when it comes to me, I’m not too worried.  I don’t smoke, drink, or fool around.  You ain’t gonna catch me stumbling out of a club at 3 am.  And I’m not into the whole anger/violence thing/profanity, either.  Plus, I already post worse pictures of myself than any photographer could ever catch.

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So there’s just one thing more ya’ll need to know:

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my left side is my good side.Screen shot 2013-08-02 at 5.20.28 AM

Just at least let me put my makeup on first.

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“Some things you shouldn’t get too good at.  Like crying, lying and celebrity.”

~U2

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Even I have my standards….

The other day I ran out of gas and had to walk to a gas station.  I took my red gas can, which holds a near permanent residence in the back of my car.  Along the way I met 2 nice young men who accompanied me.  (one of them talked to me, while one took pictures)  Darn, they were cute, I wish it had been one of those days when I hadn’t looked like this, but of course that never stops me from socializing.

walking with a stranger....

stranger red gas can again

Now readers, I know that I pride myself in not censoring ugly pictures of myself.  But as far as my face in this last one goes, even I have my standards.

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But any potential suitors, rest assured that I can also look like this:  pretty white

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Modern-day Polygamy

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JUST KIDDING!

Hey Stace, Janey and I could take a modesty tip or 2 from you.

By the, Mormons no longer practice polygamy.  Read more about it here.

Oh, and I interviewed a girl who was born into a polygamous family, but later converted to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Check it stat.

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I want YOU! (3 different takes)

Serious:

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So Cute:

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SEXY!

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but surprisingly modest at least.

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Some selfies…

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are better than others.

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And that’s just how it is.

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Once you’ve heard the acoustic version,

it’s hard to ever go back.  Just sayin’

#I KNOW this song is old, but it’s a goodie 🙂

#Christina, LET ME HELP YOU TONE DOWN THAT MAKEUP A LIL AND REALLY BRING OUT YOUR NATURAL BEAUTY!

#i’m all for religious freedom, but baby girl come on home to Mormonism

#dream of doing my own version of this song soon.  if you’re interested, hit me up.  Dead serious.  I promise my shirt will cover my whole stomach, too.

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Get a Darker Under Shirt!

Colors can be deceiving, can’t they?

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But I AM wearing one in both.  Promise.

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“Am I wearing too many colors?”

I love colors.  And I love dressing to IMpress, as well as EXpress.

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But I want people to see and remember not just my clothes, but also ME and my natural beauty (enhanced a little with makeup and occasionally fake lashes).  And when you wear a lot of bright things that stand out, there can be too many things to look at.  So maybe if I wanna wear a bright color, I should just stick to one.

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Nah…

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